|Let the CHIBNAAAALLLLLL|
|When it crumbles, we will stand tall, face it all together|
|Episode: 1 & 2|
|Air date||1-5 January 2020|
|Written by||Chris Skyfall|
|Directed by||Jamie Magnus Stone and Lee Haven Jones|
|Resolution (Look, we'll get to it eventually, alright?)||Orphan 55|
Spyfall (it’s like Skyfall but with spies) was the point Chibnall finally gave up attempting to write anything of even moderate coherence. It features the """talents""" of Jodie Whittaker, Mandip Gill, Tosin Cole, and Bradley Walsh, as well as featuring Stephen Fry finally and special guest star Wanda H. A. Chas as "the Spymaster", whoever that is.
The Doctor and Fam get kidnapped by the sinister Rendition Man, who brings them before his Master: Stephen Fry. Fry insists the Doctor cannot possibly be a woman, and pays for this rampant chauvinism with his life. To escape charges, the Doctor and her kids split up, with Yaz and Ryan going after world famous internet troll Daniel Barton, played by a remarkably miscast Lenny Henry, and the Doctor and Graham going to meet her Good Old Friend We've All Met Before Who's A World Famous Sprinting Champion, codename "O".
And then there's VOR. We could be here all day talking about Vore. It's the most powerful force on the internet, you know. But who's behind Vore? Who truly benefits from all this Vore?
It turns out that the Vore is entirely the fault of O, who turns out to be some obscure returning character in a weird little cameo. He dresses up as a Nazi and as Scrooge and spends 77 years in a sodding concentration camp before showing up at the end of the story to do nothing and lose. It's the most saturday morning treatment of the Master we've had in all of NuWho.
We learn a tiny bit more about the Timeless Child after the Master pulverizes and nukes Gallifrey in that pocket universe it's been in ever since it was last seen in the 50th anniversary special The Day of the Doctor.
Some people took issue with the bit where Dr Who engaged in senseless racist cruelty by weaponising the Master's new racial appearance to get him sent to a concentration camp. It's PC culture gone mad, I tell you!