Smith and Jones

Smith and Jones
Season: 3
Episode: 1
Vital statistics
Air date 31 March 2007
Written by Russell T. Davies
Directed by Charles Palmer
Episode guide
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The Runaway Bride The Shakespeare Code
lol y u mad tho
The Kissing Agenda
Tennant after reading the script.

Smith and Jones was the first episode of Series 3


The Doctor stalks a delicious blackamoor lady (isn't that the word we use nowadays?) to her job at a hospital while she fends off the pack of voracious wolves she calls a family. Upon arrival at the hospital, she finds out through the most routine of inspections that the Doctor is an alien with two hearts, which sure makes Grace look like a ham-fisted bun vendor.

But all that cutesy flirting takes a back seat to the plot of the episode, which is about rhinos abducting the whole hospital to the moon and then conducting a warrantless search of it (remember, Britain has no bill of rights) in search of an old lady vampire with a leather fetish.

The Doctor saves the day by kissing Martha and going barefoot (if we count the Judoon as rhino-furries, that's three fetishes all central to this episode, not including a broader "doctors and nurses" fetish) and the Judoon return the hospital to earth, where Martha is somehow able to attend a party that very same night without being held for questioning by the police, the military, and UNIT.

After ducking out of the party to avoid her family, she encounters her amorous stalker, who sends her tremendous mixed signals and then shows her his magnificent package: the TARDIS. Upon discovering that it's bigger on the whatsit, Martha decides to run away with this dangerous and erotically charged madman she's known for a couple hours, as they tend to.


I remember it being pretty good I think.

Moffat says this is RTD's best script simply on the basis of how it effortlessly introduces numerous characters, gives you insight into Martha's life, and then shoves them off together on adventures. But then, Moffat also likes Journey's End, so what does he know.


If you'd call it that.

Anyway, Vampire Nana's first victim is called Stoker. Either that's a huge accidental coincidence or RTD was finally giving subtlety a go.