Sixth Doctor

The Pie Lord
The Pie Lord admires a tasty treat.
The Pie Lord admires a tasty treat.
Played by Colin Baker
Years Active 1984 - 1986
First story The Twin Dilemma
Last story The Ultimate Foe
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The most flattering picture in existence of the Sixth Doctor.
Sixie grinning as Jamie takes his partner up the behind.
Quadraphonic Sixie.
The Sixth Doctor's Intro.
It's always Colin time.
[Six intensifies]
Colin Baker: Ace Attorney objects to this wiki.
Colin knows best.

While other Doctors were Time Lords, the Sixth Doctor was truly the Pie Lord.


He was played from 1984 - 1986 by former porn star and part-time chef Culinary Bakehouse until Seven deliberately killed him.

First appeared at the end of Caves, his first full story being the smash hit The Twin Dilemma.


The Sixth Doctor was fucking based and was the second Doctor to be played by a porn star after Peter Crushing. Sixie was so fucking autistic that he wore a cat pin to remove himself from the continuity of Doctor Who. Cosplayers who insist upon recreating his costume are widely (get it? because he's fat?) considered to be iconic.

In spite of the rising quality of his episodes, people were getting a bit tired of Peter Davison by then because all they wanted was to see what William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, and Tom Baker were like (and as luck would have it for the fans, Davison wanted to leave by then anyway, because his hero suggested it). Because all they had to refer to their personalities at the time were the sometimes inaccurate Target novelization depictions, they assumed that a Doctor like them combined would be like the Sixth Doctor. Back then, just going with the Target novelizations, everybody assumed that the First Doctor was nothing but authoritative and grumpy, the Second Doctor was nothing but alien and silly, and the Fourth Doctor was nothing but bohemian and arrogant, in spite of the vast amounts of depth all three characters had, and that these descriptions even partially contradict what they were actually like. This is probably why, strangely, the Sixth Doctor didn't garner a lot of praise until The Twin Dilemma. They then realized just who the Doctor really was.

His onscreen tenure was largely great but he was well expanded upon by Briggs Finish. Vengeance on Varos is a classic. Trial ranges from GOAT to bad. The Mark of the Rani is absolute trash. But when it gets right down to it, the Sixth Doctor's stories were generally still better than those of Season 24 and almost 100% of the Chibnall Era. He just gets a lot of love because the show kinda went back to its roots.

Colin and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

If it wasn't for that goddamn coat Sixie might be remembered more fondly. The coat is a bit of an icon in its own right these days (god knows it's certainly recognisable) but back in the 80's, the meme-costume combined with the decent writing made Sixie seem like some kind of rabble-rousing badass.

Not even Osgood would wear it, except for when she did in a non-canon comic.

JNT's idea was to make the costume "totally tasteless". It's certainly a brave move, but it doesn't really help the show's popularity when your main character looks like a complete twat.


Sixie eventually overdosed on pies (citation needed) and regenerated into the Seventh Doctor (citation needed). Colin didn't film the regeneration because by that time he could no longer fit through the TARDIS doors. He was last seen in The Ultimate Pie.

Colin didn't show up for Time and the Rani (who can blame him) but returned for Dimensions in Time and The Five(ish) Doctors.

Alternate Ending

The VNA Head Games reveals Seven actually murdered Six because he was fed up with Sixie's bullshit and wanted to take over. Six then goes on to become the Valeyard. Bad luck Handy...

Death laughed, and raised a soft finger between the Doctor's eyes. "Don't lie to me! You sacrificed the colourful jester because you needed to be born! Time would have her champion and he was just the compost for your blooming. You ran your TARDIS into the Rani's beam joyfully. Hah! Your sixth self hates you for that, he will become Valeyard for that..." (from Love and War)


Memorable Quotes

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?" ~ Sixie never knew of wikis.

"Pies. Glorious glorious pies."

"Ta-da! One of my best, you will love it! Many say it's a classic. Bought, of course, to replace the one that strangely went missing. Great news, though. This one has extra features! EVEN MORE OF ME." - Varos time.

"You're wasting your time. I've locked all the doors." - Colin's family face doom in The Five(ish) Doctors.

"You were expecting someone else?" ~ Sixie is allowed everywhere.

"You'll forgive me if I don't join you." ~OH SNAP EPIC BURN *airhorns*

"I hate everyone."

"As easy as pie? As easy as pie?!" ~Six gets aroused. Peri is kill.

"I've eaten possum's anus on live television."

"Planets come and go. Stars perish. Matter disperses, coalesces, forms into other patterns, other worlds. Nothing can be eternal." ~Sixie was clearly Nine's favorite Doctor.

"In all my travelling throughout the universe, I have battled against evil, against power-mad conspirators. I should have stayed here. The oldest civilisation: decadent, degenerate, and rotten to the core. Power-mad conspirators, Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen - they're still in the nursery compared to us. Ten million years of absolute power! That's what it takes to be really corrupt!" ~Sixie shortly before dropping the mic.

"Only two things in this life are certain - death, and pies."


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