|“||Does anybody even know what the fucking acronym stands for?||”|
Were you looking for Splinx, the robot cat from a 1986 Doctor Who video game nobody remembers? Too bad, you don't even get a link.
SPLINK is an ancient Babylonian spell that allows the user to cross a busy road or intersection safely and unharmed, avoiding being hit by cars.
How do I SPLINK?
According to the spell's creator Jawn Pertweejacket, the word SPLINK can be divided into the following acronym for ease of incantation:
S - "Find a Safe place to cross, then stop."
P - "Stand on the Pavement near the curb."
L - "Look around for traffic and Listen."
I - "If traffic Is coming, let it pass."
N - "When there is No traffic Near, walk straight across the road."
K - "Keep looking and listening around for traffik while you kross."
- "Splink or you'll end up like Danny Pink." - Children's nursery rhyme.
- "IF WE DRIVE LIKE IDIOTS, WE DIE LIKE IDIOTS!" - Seventh Doctor giving a college lecture on SPLINK.
- "Whatever you do, don't SPLINK! SPLINK and you're dead!'" - Tenth Doctor, getting it all wrong.
- "THE LAWS OF SPLINK ARE MINE, AND THEY WILL OBEY ME!" - Tenth Doctor going off his rocker (again).
Characters who forgot to SPLINK
The Scottish Road Safety Campaign
And here comes Christopher Eccleston, intense as fuck.