Does anybody even know what the fucking acronym stands for?

SPLINK acronym.jpg
9 teaches you how to SPLINK.
9 teaches you how not to SPLINK.
The Oncoming SPLINK.
It's too late for Danny.
/who/ cares about your safety.
Just when you thought you were safe.
Tenth Doctor shortly before being hit by a car and regenerating into a Foot.
Never forget.

Were you looking for Splinx, the robot cat from a 1986 Doctor Who video game nobody remembers? Too bad, you don't even get a link.

SPLINK is an ancient Babylonian spell that allows the user to cross a busy road or intersection safely and unharmed, avoiding being hit by cars.

How do I SPLINK?

According to the spell's creator Jawn Pertweejacket, the word SPLINK can be divided into the following acronym for ease of incantation:

S - "Find a Safe place to cross, then stop."

P - "Stand on the Pavement near the curb."

L - "Look around for traffic and Listen."

I - "If traffic Is coming, let it pass."

N - "When there is No traffic Near, walk straight across the road."

K - "Keep looking and listening around for traffik while you kross."


  • "Splink or you'll end up like Danny Pink." - Children's nursery rhyme.
  • "IF WE DRIVE LIKE IDIOTS, WE DIE LIKE IDIOTS!" - Seventh Doctor giving a college lecture on SPLINK.
  • "Whatever you do, don't SPLINK! SPLINK and you're dead!'" - Tenth Doctor, getting it all wrong.
  • "THE LAWS OF SPLINK ARE MINE, AND THEY WILL OBEY ME!" - Tenth Doctor going off his rocker (again).

Characters who forgot to SPLINK

See also:

The Scottish Road Safety Campaign

And here comes Christopher Eccleston, intense as fuck.