Homosexuality is when someone wishes only to bump uglies with someone of the
same sex same identified gender. The Gay is considered controversial in some backwards places in the world, but is tightly and intrinsically linked to Doctor Who. There will now follow a list of ways in which this show is totally gay, bro.
No bisexuals, though, because as we all know, bisexuals don't exist. (Mike Yates is not bi, he just didn't realize Jo was a girl.)
Real 'mos attached to the program
- Waris Hussein, director of An Unearthly Child, and only good director the series had for its first... ten? Twenty? Fifty years?
- Jonathan Nathan-Turner, showruiner for the back half of the classic series.
- Peter Grimwade, writer and director of multiple 80s stories.
- Richard Franklin, actor who played Mike Yates.
- Matthew Waterhouse, who played Adric, although somehow it feels homophobic just saying that that the worst actor in the history of the programme is gay, even though it happens to be true.
- Ian Levine, "musician" and ruiner of Doctor Who forever.
- Mark Gatiss,"writer" and "actor" who's been cosplaying as the Doctor since the 80s, probably the next showruiner after Moffat.
- Gareth Roberts, plausibly the best (and without a doubt the funniest) writer the program has.
- Joseph Lidster, writer of some of the Mary Jane Adventures, Big Teabagging audios and shit trips (no not those).
- Stephen Fry, writer, actor, panel show host, and a bunch of other adjectives, played the Minister of Chance and wrote an episode that never made it to air.
- Derek Jacobi, famous british actor, played the Master twice.
- Russell T. Davies, showruiner who brought back Doctor Who and ruined british television forever.
- Simon Callow, less famous but still beloved british actor, played Charles Dickens.
- John Barrowman, singer, actor, grindr user, and the most fabulous person in existence.
- Euros Lyn, director of numerous episodes throughout the RTD era.
- Russel Tovey, beloved british television actor known to us weirdos as Midshipman "Allonsy" Alonso Frame.
- Ian McKellan, Gandneto, played the Great Intelligence, kinda.
- Patrick Ness, showruiner of Class
- More guest stars than you can count in the classic series. Stars like Peter Wyngarde would have been far too famous for the show to get before they were outed in the 70s and lost their careers, but easy to get afterward.
- Statistically speaking, most of the fans.
- Mike Yates
- Midshipman "Allons-y!" Alonso Frame
- Canton Everett Delaware III
- Madame Vastra
- Jenny Flint
- The Thin and Fat Gay Married Anglican Marines
- Oliver Harper
- Izzy Sinclair
- Luke Smith
- Chris Cwej (possibly)
- Ace (possibly)
- Oswin (was going through a phase)
Many Americans (and Australians, etc.) have a hard time telling when an English person is acting homosexual and when he's just acting English. But that's only because there is no actual visible difference between the two.
There is, however, an easy way to distinguish. Call him a homosexual. (Not a fag—he will think you're calling him a cigarette and get confused enough to vote Brexit.) If he replies, "Come if you think you're hard enough", then he's straight. Seriously, that's what straight guys in England say when they want to fight. And they don't get why it's funny, which makes it even funnier. (You will probably get punched for doing this, but what are you worried about? He's English.)
Of course straight guys in America say "You want a piece of me?" when they want to fight. (You will probably get shot for doing this, so maybe don't do it.) Which just proves that, wherever you go, straight guys are the gayest.
- Heterosexuality (which is an abomination)