Danny Splink

What a fucking pleb, I bet he doesn't even know how to SPLINK properly.

Danny Splink
RIP Rupert "Tranny" Splink.
RIP Rupert "Tranny" Splink.
Vital statistics
Played by Mario Cruz
Years active 2014
Travelled with Twelfth Doctor
First story Into the Dalek
Last story Last Christmas
Previous Next
Clala Nahdoll
Jon upon receiving the news that another twat forgot to SPLINK.
Danny thinking about his GOAT wells.
Watch out when SPLINK's about
Danny after getting REKT by the anti-SPLINK car.
/who/ meets Danny.
Danny is reminded of his failure even in death.
Danny just before getting rekt.
The Danny Splink Memorial.
Twelve's thoughts on Danny.
Danny's favourite musical

Danny Splink (played by Mario Cruz) was a fucking basic ass cunt who forgot to use SPLINK. Jon Pertwee was disappoint that day.

In his spare time, when he wasn't murdering innocent children and crying like a real bitch, Danny liked to teach Maths Physical Education.

Muh Wells

Danny was a soulja and an expert at digging wells until he dug one shaped like a penis and his fellow soldiers couldn't take him seriously anymore. When Danny was having a stroke the whole army just thought it was a joke and laughed which resulted in his PTSD.


Right Danny only exists so Clara has something to talk about, due to Miffit not giving Clara a character she needs to go 'muh Donny' every once in awhile. If Clara had a character and could react to what was going on Danny would not exist. If I tried to explain Danny's personality I guess I could say he was wise? Brave?

Thing is those traits come from the one moment when he REKT that kid and only come to a head in The Caretaker, every other episode Danny just sits around sperging and giving Clara screen time. He is a person who did one thing in his life as far as we see.

Of course Danny dies at the end of the series, so any chance for a character arc later on is gone unless Myffyt pulls some shit. As dumb as Mickey was he at least developed from getting rekt by bins to well not. Hell Mickey had on screen development in The Age of Steel when Ricky died and he stepped the fuck up. Danny just cried and died and FORGOT TO FUCKING SPLINK.


  • Danny is possibly the most useless character ever.
  • Danny was completely useless as a soulja and was later revealed to have killed a small innocent boy for no reason at all (BRAVO NOLAN)
  • The Doctor was known to fucking hate his guts because he was a SOULJA, he taught PE and he didn't remember to SPLINK. Also recognized him from when he was the Third Doctor.


Danny was murdered by a car after he forgot to SPLINK and walked into oncoming traffic like a complete fucking retard.

After he was kill he went to the Promised Land where Seb was trying to masturbate until Danny burst in and ruined everything as per usual.


Just when we were glad he was fucking gone, Danny returned as CyberDanny but soon managed to die again. He was then given a chance to come back to life properly but chose to let the kid he murdered live instead.

He showed up again in Last Christmas but it turned out he was still dead. Danny is exceptionally good at failing to be alive.


Danny's hobbies include:

  • Killing kids
  • Digging wells
  • Teaching PE
  • Being hit by cars
  • Dying
  • Staying dead
  • Being reclined 420 degrees and making jealous phone calls(never texts)

Never forget

Ironically Danny had Military Training, got the qualifications to be a Maths Teacher, flipped six feet over a Turian and yet still couldn't fucking SPLINK when he crossed the road.


"Yeah, poor, tragic, Cyberman Danny Pink!" - actress Sarah Colaman.