An Unearthly Child

An Unearthly Child
An Unearthly Child VHS.jpg
Season: 1
Episode: 1
Vital statistics
Air date 23 November - 14 December 1963
Written by Anthony Coburn
Directed by Waris "Demographic Checker" Hussein
Episode guide
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None, dumbass, it was the first one. The Daleks
"Come on, Chatterton, let me kill just this one."
The Doctor wearing a really cool costume he should wear more often.
>mfw i'm no leader
Za is now leader.
An Unearthly Child.jpg

An Unearthly Child is the first episode of Season 1 of Doctor Why. It's also one of the comfiest, but be warned that after this episode it's just one long downhill in slide in quality over the next 54 years.


The plot involves Ean Cheddarton and Baabarah Write (the most based companions) finding out that one of their students, Susan, is the granddaughter of a weird pedo that lives in a junkyard, calls himself a Doctor and says he's an alien. It turns out he is really an alien and no one is raped in the junkyard that day. They are kidnapped and taken away from everything they know and love instead.

They all end up on another planet (I think. It could be fucking anywhere, it's not like they explain it). The Docmuh lights a blunt and a bunch of cavemen kidnap him to learn the secrets of blazing it, with Suzzle and her teachers following suit. One of the cavemen was Za. He was no leader (yet).

After a couple episodes of rock, fire and bestiality shenanigans, everyone eventually escapes the cavemen (the Doctor bashes the skull of one of them with a fucking rock) and lives happily ever after. I mean, what could possibly be worse than insane caveman from another planet right?


Some people say that the first episode is GOAT while the other three are pretty shite, but the truth is that the whole story is top comfy. Pity it's not canon.